What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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