There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
