The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
