Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
