I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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