Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
