The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
