Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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