That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
