At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
