How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
