Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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