She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
