It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
