yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Houston, we have a squirter
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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