i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
