If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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