Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
