I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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