what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
