do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
They have beer where we have blood.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
