So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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