why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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