DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
