She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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