is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I need water and some morals
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
