I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
