i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
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You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
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Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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