fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
