i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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