I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
