we have pet lesbian snakes
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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