oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
handjob tips. give me some.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
