I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
