doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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