I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
