Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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