I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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