Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
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this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
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Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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