And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
