Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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