I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
wow bdsm is so cute
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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