tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
why do cheetos always look like penises
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
