Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
