Already got asked if we're dating
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize