I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
