stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Never let your siblings swipe right.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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