I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
