Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
