Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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