hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
