playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
