oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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