Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize
