I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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