I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
