I have demons in me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
