You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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