i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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